Goodbyes.

“Saying goodbye is a little like dying.”

-Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis:  The Story of a Childhood

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When I was growing up, I used to go to camp every summer.

(Though, not Parent Trap-esque…sadly, there’s not two of me…or, maybe, that’s a good thing….)

During those weeks, I’d become BEST friends with others there.  BEST OF FRIENDS.  When the week would end, there would be lots of tears and hugs goodbyes and promises to keep in contact forever.  Since this was the age before Facebook, staying in contact meant writing letters.

A few letters or postcards would be sent before each would completely forget the pinky promise of friends forever.

But I’d repeat the same thing year after year and camp after camp.  Vowing to stay in contact forever with my long lost best friends.

Flash forward 10-15 years, and goodbyes have gotten harder.  Childhood innocence is lost.  The connections made with people are on different levels, and — thanks mostly to Facebook and current technology – contact is managed to be kept.

This week has been the final week for many folks I hold close to me in Paris.  People I have grown to love and care for are leaving for their respective countries or expat locations.  These teary goodbyes are not the same teary ones from summer camp.  These goodbyes are heart wrenching.

And while they are expected goodbyes just like the ones from camp, they aren’t easy.

When you are young, you think you have all the time in the world.  But as you grow older, you realize that is a lie.  And the more you realize this, the more time seems to speed up.

Sadly, there is no pause or rewind button on life.

///

xx

hillary rose

Another ending.

“I’m not sure what I’ll do, but— well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace and Other Stories

I have about two weeks before I return to the States for the summer vacation.

And I’m becoming a basket case.  So many emotions sending me into tizzies, and I’m not sure how to cope.

I know I’m returning next year, but not everyone I love and care for will be here.  It’s the life of an expat, but, for me, it’s the hardest part.

Goodbyes are not my friend.  And I’d rather curl up in my apartment rocking back and forth then say that word.

But I can’t.

I’m used to being the one leaving.  Running away.  Not staying in one place.

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“Do you need a visa?” [Baltics Part 2: Riga]

“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” 

–Russell Baker

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Second stop:  Riga, Latvia

Whoever had the idea to take a 7 A.M. bus….

Oh, wait…I think that was me….

Errrr….Never mind that train of thought….let’s continue with these Baltic adventures that I’m sure y’all are chomping at the bits to read.

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Thriftastic Finds V1: The Kimono

“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and, of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys they’d just walk around naked at all times.”

– Betsey Johnson

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I have a problem.  A MAJOR problem.

A problem I had before moving abroad but has been perpetuated since the jump.

Thrifting.

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Has it really been one year?

“The best of America drifts to Paris. The American in Paris is the best American. It is more fun for an intelligent person to live in an intelligent country. France has the only two things toward which we drift as we grow older – intelligence and good manners.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

IMG_0983A year ago yesterday I was catching the RER B from CDG airport to what I thought would be my home for the next 18 months.  My heart was pounding, and butterflies fluttered around my stomach.

I was officially back in Paris with adventure awaiting me.  An apartment in the 5th and vacations in Morocco.  Life seemed grand!

But flash forward one year, and neither expectation came true.

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It’s my birrrffddayyyyyy

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”

Eleanor Roosevelt
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Curiosity.
I have been a curious child since I was born.  A fearless child who approached life
as an adventure.  No challenge too challenging, and no unfamiliarity too unfamiliar.

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